This is definitely FRAUD! Or something!
Attention all Modern Bride: Washington readers--
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT purchase the latest edition of Modern Bride: Washington. Yes, I know how thoroughly you read the previous issue, dog-earing pages and documenting your readership for all NupFollowers. And you are probably hoping to recreate the transcendental reading experience that was Modern Bride: Washington [some season...Summer?] 2005. I myself was in your shoes...
The other day I was at Books-a-Million. I was planning to purchase The Economist, or Foreign Policy, or maybe even Mother Jones, but they were all sold out.* So I began casually flipping through a MB:W, and I was filled with the strange sense of deja vu all over again. I scanned the article titles: Getting the Details You Love...hmmm, very familiar. The Best Real Weddings...Hey! I've seen that "unique" centerpiece before! What's going on here?
I started to panic. Have I really exhausted all that the bridal magazine industry has to offer me, to the point where I feel like I've read everything before? Or was some sinister force at work? I began flipping pages faster, desperate for the answer to this worst of bridal dilemmas.
There, near the beginning of the issue, I saw the small print. It said something like this: This edition of MB:W is absolutely identical to the previous issue, except, different cover photo and colors.
I mean, WHAT is THAT? Can't they just publish twice a year and keep the issues on the stands longer? This is like, major swindlage! Well I for one will NOT be swindled. I am boycotting Modern Bride (at least the Washington edition; I somehow started receiving the regular editions in the mail), and I urge you to do the same. I know it's a sacrifice, but we have to have STANDARDS. And MORALS. And ETHICS. And NEW UNIQUE CENTERPIECES.
Thank you for supporting me in this difficult-but-necessary effort.
Fondly,
BTB
*or how about "The other day I was at BAM, and I tripped over a stand of The Purpose-Driven Life books, journals, calendars, decals, koozies, etc., and fell headlong into a stack of Modern Brides"? Is that more believable?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT purchase the latest edition of Modern Bride: Washington. Yes, I know how thoroughly you read the previous issue, dog-earing pages and documenting your readership for all NupFollowers. And you are probably hoping to recreate the transcendental reading experience that was Modern Bride: Washington [some season...Summer?] 2005. I myself was in your shoes...
The other day I was at Books-a-Million. I was planning to purchase The Economist, or Foreign Policy, or maybe even Mother Jones, but they were all sold out.* So I began casually flipping through a MB:W, and I was filled with the strange sense of deja vu all over again. I scanned the article titles: Getting the Details You Love...hmmm, very familiar. The Best Real Weddings...Hey! I've seen that "unique" centerpiece before! What's going on here?
I started to panic. Have I really exhausted all that the bridal magazine industry has to offer me, to the point where I feel like I've read everything before? Or was some sinister force at work? I began flipping pages faster, desperate for the answer to this worst of bridal dilemmas.
There, near the beginning of the issue, I saw the small print. It said something like this: This edition of MB:W is absolutely identical to the previous issue, except, different cover photo and colors.
I mean, WHAT is THAT? Can't they just publish twice a year and keep the issues on the stands longer? This is like, major swindlage! Well I for one will NOT be swindled. I am boycotting Modern Bride (at least the Washington edition; I somehow started receiving the regular editions in the mail), and I urge you to do the same. I know it's a sacrifice, but we have to have STANDARDS. And MORALS. And ETHICS. And NEW UNIQUE CENTERPIECES.
Thank you for supporting me in this difficult-but-necessary effort.
Fondly,
BTB
*or how about "The other day I was at BAM, and I tripped over a stand of The Purpose-Driven Life books, journals, calendars, decals, koozies, etc., and fell headlong into a stack of Modern Brides"? Is that more believable?
3 Comments:
Washington is getting some exciting new magazines. Maybe one of them will put out a wedding guide that's more to your liking.
My personal tastes aside, magazines like MB:W are full of lies. I suspected that prior to pursuing my "Magazine, Newspaper and Online*" degree, and it's the case.
*I don't know how "Online" got stuck on the piece of 8.5x11 that came in the mail
Not to be confused with Magazine, Newspaper online degree.
As Mr. Rogers would have said: "Every problem is an opportunity in disguise. Forget about MB:W. I would hope NEW PHYSICIAN - The Bridal Edition will be on the streets soon
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